Into the Night...

We spent our honeymoon, thanks to Tracey, at a local B&B. It was a beacon in the night. In the morning, we had the pleasure of eating home made quiche and berry compote. Mr. Tucker was so generous to cook us such a scrumptious meal. He also gave us a brief history of the house itself. Meanwhile, Ilia enjoyed playing with Mr.Taylor's piano. We hope to visit this B&B for anniversaries to come. If you ever come to the Columbia area, I would highly recommend a night on one of their dreamy beds and a morning of mouth watering delights at The Taylor House.

If you would like to know more about the history of this place: http://www.taylor-house.com/history.cfm

Wedding Act III

I hope that all of you know that I am not living in the past. I simply do not have time to do this day justice in one post or in one day. One of the major projects that we are working on is looking for/buying a house. We are also potty training Ilia. :)

After the pictures (True Life Images from Ashland, MO did a wonderful job) we walked into a beautiful candle lit room full of real flowers and plants. My mom had decorated the Upper Loft of the Les Bourgeois beyond any vision I ever had. I had envisioned 8 or so candles and vases for the bouquets. There were at least 50 glasses filled with dirt to sustain the calla lilies and the like. There were faux crystal beads and ribbons strung all throughout the middle of a 6 table x 2 table large table. All the people were looking in the middle at each other. In the picture above, you'll notice how the railing was decorated. The wedding cake (lemon poppy seed with buttercream icing) is to our left. We chose All About Cakes from Montgomery City, MO because we thought that her cakes tasted and looked the best. We had brown napkins engraved with gold lettering our names and the date of our wedding next to the cake. All these decisions seemed so important at the time.

We acted like we were cutting the cake for the photographers, then we participated in a Bulgarian wedding tradition. Borislav's mom held out honey with bread for us to eat, so that our life together may always be growing (yeast in the bread) and sweet (honey). She fed us the bread, then we drank the sparkling grape juice interlocking our arms, if this makes sense. Next, we wrapped the glasses in a towel that Borislav stomped on. The glass would not break. Supposedly, the more glass shards the more good memories you'll have in your marriage. Borislav started jumping up and down on the white enveloped glasses to no avail. I had to stop his determined efforts ( I didn't want the people downstairs thinking something was wrong.). Perhaps, the glasses not breaking means that our marriage is unbreakable.? I hope so. Bulgarian music began playing, so people sat down to socialize. I put together the seating chart, and was very happy to see that Tracey, my dad's girlfriend, had written so beautifully the names of all the people on cards and put them at the right places. I wanted everyone to be able to talk to someone they liked talking to most of the time.

In and amongst all this, three babies had to be taken care of periodically. Ilia ate some pureed baby food and some banana. My sister's baby was being entertained. Our friends baby was expressing her excitement. We had appetizers. We ordered our food. Then, we had our toasts. Instead of just one person toasting, everyone was given a chance to toast. I was moved almost to tears many times. I just felt so blessed to have these people in our life. People seemed fairly content with what they ordered to eat. We changed the music to classical songs like Debussy's "Claire de Lune". I had the salmon and asparagus. It was divine. I'm looking forward to having an anniversary dinner there next year. mmm....good....I really wanted to have some dancing, so while people finished their meals we danced.

The first dance was with my dad, Stevie Wonder's "My Girl". Again, I love Father of the Bride. My dad and I watched that movie several times when I was growing up. But, it was too fast paced. My dad dipped me once, but I recovered. Then, I realized that it was a double dip, so I almost did not recover. It was good to dance with him. Borislav and I danced to Peter Frampton's "Baby, I love Your Way". The picture above is during our dance. We like that song because we do just love being with each other....we want to be with each other "night and day". I think that dance was my favorite part of the reception. I was feeling very excitedly anxious. Borislav just calmed my nerves. I was able to breathe in his energy. He just swayed me gently back and forth while being careful with my dress. He stroked my hand with his. We moved our arms in the same motion up and down while waiting for the song to turn on. We touched our foreheads. We kissed and were just close to each other...the most closeness that we had had all evening. It was just so miraculous, the energy I felt while dancing with him. The kiss was amazingly sweet and sensual. I loved every second that I could feel this blissful with my husband. Then, it came to my turn to share him. Borislav danced with his mother to a Bulgarian soft rock song from the 80's.

I danced with my brother to Kansas's "Dust in the Wind". We used to jam to that a few years ago. My brother plays the guitar, as I'm sure you know. I like to accompany him by singing. We also like to sing Neutral Milk Hotel's "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea", but I didn't think most people would get that song. It was good just to have a little time to talk with him during the wedding celebration. I wish I could talk with him more often. My sister and I danced with our boys to Cake's "Long Skirt, Long Jacket". We like to be silly together, so when a Cake song comes on the radio, we automatically have to dance. We dance in the car. The other songs that were played were "Never My Love" by The Association, "Happy Together" by The Turtles, and A Kind of Hush" by Herman's Hermits.

We had some cake between dances. Borislav and I fed each other cake very nicely. It was delicious. mmm...good...I think others enjoyed it as well. We had ordered a lot of it, so we were able to share some with friends after the wedding. I really liked that I could share my wedding with others who were not there, but really helped support us throughout it's development.

We had the garter toss. It was interesting. Borislav didn't really want to have a toss, but I thought, "Why not?" He lifted my dress to reveal my mendhi ankles. My crafty mama support was showing through. :) He slipped the garter off very gently, then threw it to the single men: my brother, my dad, and our friend. Later on, our friend said that he and my dad were talking about how this toss was going to play out. My dad said that he did not need the garter and that my brother was going to college, so they were out. Our friend caught it to his contentment. With the bouquet toss: the single ladies were Tracey, our friend, my sister, my mother, and my brother's girlfried. My brother's girlfriend caught the bouquet. I hope she keeps it. These events may be in the wrong order.

We only booked the bistro for about 5 hours, so by then it was about time to go. The wedding certificate needed to be signed. My sister and Borislav's dad singed it. It was getting more official all the time. :) We got our baby boy ready to go. Then, I went to look for my stuff. I couldn't find my clothes that I changed out of before the wedding. People assured me that it would be fine. I also had misplaced my vows. The candle that we had made had burned almost completely, since we forgot to blow it out. Then, I shook out any tasks that I could be doing out of my mind and walked out the double doors into the night. People splashed us with flower petals. Wow! We said our good-byes. We left them to clean up, and I strolled to the car with my husband and our baby. The youngters who were at the car disappeared when they heard us coming. Our car had white paint all over it. Hmm...."Just Married" and "the love is in the car seat". :) I got into the care carefully with my sequined wedding dress. The baby was placed in his seat. We held hands, then drove off into the night to our next destination.

Wedding Act II

Then, as I was holding my dad's hand the pastor asked, "Who presents this woman to be married today." My dad said, " Her mother and I do." It was touching to me, because some people say "gives this woman." The pastor and I discussed the wording of this question weeks before. There wasn't to be any giving away, as if I was an object that could be taken. I also was touched because my parents have been divorced for longer than a decade, but my dad knew that it has taken the both of them to make me who I am today. They have both been and are there for me throughout my life.

Our mothers were able to be involved in the ceremony by lighting the candles that represented each root of our little sapling. That was their only part, but when I turned and looked both women were clueless. I tried to gracefully eye the candles and relate the message to them. I turned my head a litte less gracefully towards the candles. Then, I pointed with my thumb to no avail. Finally, I Egyptian half danced with my finger pointing back and forth to the candles. They realized almost at the same time what I had been trying to convey for a few seconds that felt like minutes. The candles were now lit, which was the cue for my sister to read a passage from the Bible: 1 Corinthians 13. This Bible was the same Bible my dad's mom used on her wedding day. Unfortunately, it was the King James version. Charity had been substituted for love. My sister was confused. I was surprised at my forgetfulness to warn her about the different version. She wasn't aware that there was another version. She did very well. I started absorbing all the things I could have done better in preparing for this special day. After the reading, my brother played and sang "In My Life" by The Beatles. It is, in my mind, the best love song that they ever wrote. It remembers all the loves before, but also sets apart this love that is new. Borislav and I were not each other's first love. We will never forget them, but we've been able to grow from our experiences with others. Love has a new meaning with the person for whom the song was seemingly written. Borislav and I have found our meaning together.

I've often felt that I didn't really begin to understand love until I was with Borislav. I think that before him, I was either too selfish or too giving. I learned how to give and take with him. I learned how to relax the control that I needed to have in my life. My life was no longer mine, but ours in a way. At least, a lot of the time in my life was going to be shared with him. I couldn't have these minor yet major expectations for him. I learned how to be patient. I learned how to compromise. I learned how to forgive. I've been able to share new life. I've been able to remember past lives. He has helped me be more comfortable with myself by just loving me the way that I am. He doesn't expect much most of the time. Sometimes, I wonder how we ever were interested in the other. He doesn't really like most of the music that I like. He doesn't read most of the books I do. He doesn't like to philosophize for hours. But, somehow, something struck a chord in both of our hearts that kept telling us that we needed each other. We were meant to be together. Despite, all the ups and downs we have been able to grow with each other. With God, we've created a life together. I think sometimes things don't have to make sense.

Borislav and I lit our unity candle that we made out of beeswax. It would be a remembrance to all the sacrifices and love that our respective families have given to us along the way. We were combining our ties with our ancestors to create a tie of our own based only on love and the commitment we have for each other. The candle burned brightly and was not to be blown out by the wind. It was a fairly calm evening. During this time, our friends Jeff and Ruth, were setting up to play a song for us. Borislav and I decided that we wanted Sonny and Cher's "I Got You Babe" sung at our wedding. It represents a young love that will stand strong through the storms of life, despite any adversity from family, finances, or fear. Jeff & Ruth and Borislav & I had a lot of adversity during the beginnings of our relationships. It's a very special song that was sung so beautifully. I would love to listen to it over and over. It was the best present they could have given except their friendship. They were instrumental in Borislav and I meeting each other the third time. Their band, Rutherford, played at The Music Cafe that night. Ruth also mentioned that he had asked a lot of questions about me. He was a friend of a friend of theirs. They are also Ilia's godparents. I feel so blessed that they are in our life.

My brother following this serenade read from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. The chapter from which he read was On Love. This chapter is especially meaningful because it basically states that love is not always easy and it is through the hard times that love grows. I could go on and on line by line of this section of the book philosophizing about love. I had marked the spot in the book, but it had become unmarked somehow. I had to find the place. I had wanted him to read the whole chapter. He read the first page. I should've been more selective or more descriptive on what I wanted, but I think that the message above was conveyed. After the reading, Borislav and I said our vows. He had written about a page and a half of vows. He really brought to mind what I feel love is like. He said that may our love never be saturated or dried up by the sun. Love is like a flower, so John Lennon says and I agree, you have to let it grow. How do you take care of flower? I told him that he was like a lighthouse during a storm. I had been wanting to get married for as long as I could remember. My parents did not have a good marriage, and I felt firsthand what an untended marriage can do to the people involved. I've always thought that if I could have a marriage of my own all the harm done would be healed. It would be like neosporin on a cut. The cut would still be there, but not as bad. Also, I feel the huge commitment it is to marry someone. I thank God for Borislav. He is hardworking and a devoted husband and father.

The next step was to seal the vows with the rings. Ilia was helped by his uncle to walk with the rings to Borislav and I. It was so good to see him and feel his energy so closely again. We exchanged the rings that almost didn't make it to the ceremony because we ordered them fairly late in the preparations. It felt wonderful to slip a wedding ring onto Borislav's finger. He doesn't wear rings, but he understands the meaning that a wedding band has for me. I think it is a way to show everyone that you are not available. You may not be available in your heart or mind, but other people need to know to respect the commitment that you have made. With the vows being said and the rings being slipped on, it was time for the kiss. It felt so good to be in the arms of my love. I felt the energy circling around us. We magnetically kissed, then pulled away to only have to kiss one more time. Oh...it was wonderful.

When we were introduced as husband and wife, we turned around and really were able to absorb the love that was emanating from our family members. Ilia had on my dad's shades. Our friend with a low resonating voice said "Yeah." It was an amazing moment. Nothing had changed between us and our family, yet I had this feeling of ultimate peace about being married. I felt even more complete. That feeling has not gone away. It feels really good to touch, grasp, and hold your dreams.

We both realized and realize that God has blessed us and our family, so we decided that for our first act as a married couple we would serve The Lord's Supper. We want to be growing with each other towards God. The pastor blessed the bread and juice, then prayed. Our heads were touching while we prayed. We felt as one. We served each other, then we served our family and friends. We didn't know quite what to say or do. After people took the bread from the juice, they formed a circle. When the last person was served, we prayed together for our marriage. We need all the prayer that we can get. Jesus says in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

As a closing, my dad played on his saxophone the song, "The Old Rugged Cross." That song is meaningful because it keeps in the fore front the ultimate sacrifice of love. Jesus died on the cross for our sins because of the love that he had for us. He took on all the burdens of all the sins that anyone living at that time or in the future would make. I know what it's like to feel guilty. I can't imagine what that must have felt like on the cross. He also showed his followers how to transcend ourselves: our selfish desires, thoughts, or actions for the benefit of the whole. I feel so much better when I think of others rather than myself. It's usually when I'm thinking of myself that I hurt myself the most. For instance, when I get onto Ilia for something that is really my fault. I aspire to be more like Christ every day. Our pastor said a closing prayer. Then, my dad surpised me with another song.

When I was about 10 years old or so, the radio host asked people to call in with a song of their choice. I wanted to hear "Going to the Chapel." I really liked The Father of the Bride with Steve Martin. The host asked me to sing the song, so I did. My family was swimming outside while the radio was on. My voice came over the waves to their surprise. My dad remembered this and decided to play this song at our wedding. I asked him if he wanted help. I sang and he played. It was like I was coming in full circle. I just got married, but he was still just as important in my life. We loved expressing our love for each other and life in this way. I would look at Borislav at all the opportune times in the song. I told my dad that it was a great idea when the song ended. I kissed his cheek, which concluded our ceremony. It was not without its flaws, but all in all it represented who we were and are and...we are married! Then, it was professional picture time that had my head spinning by the end.